I decided to forgo the mentor. Possibly a big mistake. Possibly a big mistake averted. When in doubt, do nothing, right?


My H is sick with a terrible strain of flu, like I had a year ago Christmas. I love him, I care for him, he's in the bed right now after being tended to with food, beverage, and drugs.

And I'm furious/weepy/conflicted. I'm still mad about being left for dead a year ago Christmas when I was 103 temp and could barely move and he yelled at me about being a controlling B for asking him to stay home from breakfast with the guys, and punishing me for that by staying gone from 7am-8pm the entire week following.

I told him that still bothered me. He said he was sorry but what did I expect him to do then, stay home? I said that not yelling at me would have helped, and yes, being home would have helped, too. It would take so long to get into the conversations we've had over the last several months, but the end result is...I've had no REAL apologies. He still justifies, he still gets defensive, he still thinks that everything was beyond his control. TOTAL DJ, but I'm jealous that he has a spouse who takes (ETA: CARE, I mean care of him, and I most certainly mean when one is unable to care for self or others, i.e. when down with illness) of him, and I don't. But I haven't been that sick, so maybe? Ugh, I don't want to get that sick to find out.

Next vent, less painful for me, kinda wth:

He has put his foot down on travel. No more! YEAH! I agreed to events so long as they are not frequent, one every 3-4 months outside of work hours (most are in). So last weekend, he went to one, a shooting shindig with rich peeps, and came home and complained that he had to stay with the cars and wasn't able to shoot.

And what do I find on teh interwebz?

A piccie of my H shooting at the event.

He said, "Well, I meant I didn't get to shoot skeet with the rest, I did get to fire off a couple of rounds at the end. I'm sorry you misunderstood what I meant by saying I didn't get to shoot."

Um...okay...number one, why lie about that? and number two, bwa-ha-ha, do I look stupid? Has he totally missed my literal interpretations over the years, and thought I believed that you can shoot a gun but not be shooting? Bwa-ha-ha!

"I had a drink, but I wasn't drinking."

"I drove the car, but I wasn't driving."

"I shot the gun, but I wasn't shooting."

"I lied, but I'm not a liar!"


Last edited by CWMI; 02/25/11 07:10 PM. Reason: durrr

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)