RMJ, to answer your initial q, I'm angry at him for refusing to take care of me and ours when I asked him to. He wouldn't ask me to take care of him. He would assume I would take care of the kids. I would assume he wouldn't take care of anything except what was important to him at the moment...work, dust, refrigerator gaskets...so when I told him I NEEDED him to take care of people and he yelled at me about it, yeah, I got angry and today brought it back to mind, because I know how he feels, and I would never want him to feel that bad AND be piled with hatred and neglect on top.

I can't imagine what kind of human being could do that.

I can...but he passed a polygraph.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)