Originally Posted by HitchHiker
HOLD, curious, can you expand upon why you don't feel safe?

I was also wondering about this.

The challenge as I see it, is how do spouses who have opposing EN's like this and cannot seem to find a lasting compromise stay in love? The lack of Financial Security for me due to consistent overspending makes serious withdrawals in my love bank (the fact that independent behavior on the part of DW is oftentimes used makes it worse for me - because I feel deceived - more lovebusting behavior here). The lack of sufficient Financial Support in the eyes of my DW results in love bank withdrawals for her. If I'm honest, for the most part we do not have O&H conversation when it comes to FS because of the collective pain surrounding the sensitive longstanding issue.

So, are you saying that your wife refuses to be accountable to you about her spending? And she knows that overspending is a painful concern to you, but she continues to do it anyway? frown