Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
Why don't I feel safe, hmmm, let me see. Maybe because I keep getting kicked in the teeth whenever I am physically close to her? Forget 18 years of being rejected sexually. Now she won't even let me get near her. First I touch her hip and she screams she can't stand to be near me and jumps out of bed and runs away. Then the next night before I even get into bed she tells me to stay away and not get anywhere near her and give her space. Then the next night she says she is sorry for pushing me away, and she wants to make it up to me, so she will allow me to have my foot touch her foot. No, I can't imagine why I don't feel safe when I am near her.

And that is just the physical side. Mentally, I am disinclined to tell her the truth about how I feel, because she is so dismissive when I tell her I am unhappy. Her basic response is "you wouldn't be happy no matter what I do, so it doesn't matter whether or how I hurt you, because whether I treat you well or poorly you'll still be unhappy, so I might as well do what is easier for me and keep rejecting you."

HOLD, that's what I thought, just wanted to be certain. Thanks for the clarification. While I don't share your issues surrounding SF in my M, I do also feel unsafe when having conversations and/or negotiations with my DW for many of the same reasons, I get a dismissive attitude, mostly because we have longstanding disagreements over the same old problems. I'd imagine if my DW were open and honest, she would probably agree that she feels I'd never be happy, and therefore it's just easier to listen to her Taker and do whatever she wants at my expense. frown

God Bless,


All I want to do is learn to think like God thinks. , I want to know Gods thoughts; all the rest are just details. , When the solution is simple, God is answering. - Albert Einstein

INTJ married to an ENFJ