Easy, you are correct. I did feel better about my marriage when Mrs. Hold got a part time job and started bring in paychecks that were more than a tiny fraction of her weekly allowance (her allowance still runs 2 - 5 times her income, but that is alot better than income of 0).

Silly me, I reacted to feeling better by reaching out to meet her needs. In exchange, she slammed the door shut in my face. Now she keeps telling me she doesn't understand why I am reacting so negatively to her presence. She keeps asking me "where are you going?" when I get up and leave the room after a few minutes of talking to her. I am not brave enough to say "I have reached my limit of being able to tolerate being near you if we are not going to hug or kiss or have sex any time soon, so I am going to go do something I actually enjoy."

I don't want to get into another of those endless arguments that I only want her for sex. Which, in one sense, is correct. After being deprived for so long, I am not interested in spending UA time that is not going to involve sex. Unfortunately, given my inability to perform, it is not possible for our UA time to involve sex (at least not while her repertoire when partnered with me is so limited). So it is going to be very difficult for us to reach a POJA which involves me spending much UA time with her. Yes, I know this dooms our marriage to a lack of romantic love. So what else is new?