Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
I am not brave enough to say "I have reached my limit of being able to tolerate being near you if we are not going to hug or kiss or have sex any time soon, so I am going to go do something I actually enjoy."


What about saying something like, "I have reached my limit of being able to tolerate being near you if we are not going to hug or kiss me any time soon, and, no, this isn't about sex, so I am going to go do something I actually enjoy."

I know you said it really *is* about sex, but since that's not going to happen given your, um, current limitations, maybe you can make it about hugging. Or kissing. Its been awhile since I could be on the boards regularly, but last time I was here I remember you both making good progress in this area. Im surprised to hear of this regression.

Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
I am not interested in spending UA time that is not going to involve sex. Unfortunately, given my inability to perform, it is not possible for our UA time to involve sex (at least not while her repertoire when partnered with me is so limited). So it is going to be very difficult for us to reach a POJA which involves me spending much UA time with her.

Hold, I feel so sad to see you in this no-win situation. I admit I dont know much about sex, but if thats all you want and you really cant perform, then you have no way to be happy. Almost like nothing she does can make you happy. Because even if she stopped spending too much (and looking at you as simply a bank) you still wont be happy. You cant get what you want, even if she offered it to you. Please tell me Im reading this wrong, and that there are some very real, concrete things she can do to make you happy.


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer