So I'm back again after a couple of months. I bought 3 Harley books and finished one of them. I have put forth a decent effort with implementing some of the basic concepts with some success. I don't think my wife and I have any "major" issues in terms of how we want to raise our kids, etc. I think we let the "disrespectful judgements" and "selfish demands" get us in a bad place. I've asked my wife no less than 8 times to read just the Basic Concepts and be a part of this with me. She claimed today after me pleading that she read two paragraphs. I'm not judging or trying to recruit you to my side when I say the following. My wife grew up with a Mother who always told her she wasn't good enough. Her Mom uses judgements and demands with her husband quite literally 5 times an hour. This is all my wife knows. I don't like conflict but my wife seems to think it is quite normal. Its not all her fault but the pattern usually involves her jabbing me a few to several times a day until I get fed up and "fight back". When we get to this point I have no clue how to handle it. I feel a great inequity right now in terms of feeding emotional needs. I'm not the best at it but I try and she has admitted she sees my effort. We have a third child which is her typical excuse for anything including but not limited to "her mood", "her annoyance with me", "sex", etc. The "Great Blamer" as I call her never has to take fault for anything, quite literally anything! If it doesn't make her feel good, whatever it is, she rejects it, avoids it, won't admit it, or quite literally blames someone else for it. My kids here it and I've heard them doing the same thing. My four year old stepped on a toy and hurt his foot because he wasn't paying attention and said, "Taylor put the toy there and I hurt my foot!" I quickly told him "We don't blame other people for mistakes we ourselves make son." I need some perspective from some of you with more experience that I. I'm not desperate or giving up, I'm just frustrated and need to learn more.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD