Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Melody,

By the way there a couple of things that I could be wrong about but I thought I'd tell you how I see them. Know I don't think most people or all people reject all things that make them feel bad, I sure don't. In addition whoever said that I make her feel bad? It happens at times but most of the time I have nothing to do with it. She feels bad all on her own.


I was responding to your comment that she rejects anything that makes her feel bad. That is a natural reaction and if you ARE doing something to make her feel bad, I would stop that.

Quote:

In regards to her relationship with her family(mother), how is this irrelevant to the present? If this is a common cause of how she deals with her/our problems which I've read so much about, how can it possibly be something that I/We just ignore?


I am not saying to ignore her behavior, but to ignore her childhood. It has nothing to do with the present. I view this as a distraction because it is irrelevant to the present. Sure, maybe she picked up those traits from her mother, but so what? The solution is to change present behavior.

I agree with holdingon and think you would greatly benefit from signing up for the Marriage Builders program because they will assign you a coach who will work with your wife and guide your weekly lessons. Let THEM work on her instead of you. You would also have daily access to Dr Harley. They are trained coaches how know how to get people on board and teach them new behaviors. The cost is $995 and many of us have used this program with great success.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101