Sorry you are here but Welcome to Marriage builders.

Your wife sounds alot like mine was when i first tried to introduce her to the concepts and ideas here. MY wife was very reluctant to engage in the material here because it was writen by a "guy". I just vowed to my self to learn what emotional needs my wife had and learned to avoid the love busters and actually listen to her complaints.

Before my wife filled out the emotional needs questionaire (you can find that on the site here and print it out) I used her complaints as the answers for her questionaire. As I learned to be a better husband by listening to her complaints without getting defensive it began to work. By filling her needs for many months without expecting anyhting in return she began to see my efforts were in her best interest .. and not just some sort of manipulation to get my needs met. After a while it would back fire and we would be back to day one again tho. My wife and I then descided to go to marriage counseling. After we seen the bill from one session .. that sparked my wifes attention to look at other options. I then showed her I had his needs her needs book and had printed off some of the concepts here for her to read but began with the POJA. My wie at the time had descided that she had spent too much time on the PC and didnt ever visit the links i sent her. IT was only after i presented the POJA in paper over breakfast that she actually put any consideration to reading it. Once she did ... coupled with the fact that if we both worked on MB together, we would not need any more MC. We did 3 more sessions of MC before realizing it did us no good, other than rehash bad emotions and leave the MC in a worse state than when we went in, and convinced my wife that MB was the route to take. It took a while to prove to her that my actions were not manipulative to get my needs met right away .. it was only after i had done the change to better myself and make me be loveable to her that she came around and began to meet my needs almost effortlessly becasue i was able to learn how to plug the holes in our love banks and fill them up.

You can do this ... and it will not be an easy fix .. but SHOW her how its improving you and step up to the plate and make your self be more desireable. EXample. I started working out and when i got home I would start on domestice duties right after dinner and take my shirt off when i did dishes .. my excuse was i didnt like to get my shirt wet. She would exclaim "nothing is sexier than a man doing dishes with his shirt off!" and smack my butt and walk away with a grin on her face.

Keep at it ... become a better man and husband and dad for YOU and your family. YOur wife will notice .. maybe not today .. or tomorrow .. but in a few weeks she will see the consistancy of your efforts and fall deeply back in love with you. Mine has. smile