Wow MrNiceGuy, I really needed to read this post from you. I have taken the approach of fulfilling her emotional needs and not expecting anything in return which is very tough. I see a huge inequity and it is hard to rise above it and do it anyways. I do the dishes every night, feed the kids breakfast, cook dinner for her and the kids. I folded whatever clothes were in the laundry this morning which was something I normally don't do, hope she notices. I also folded the laundry yesterday and put sheets on the bed. She's not lazy by any means, there is just a lot to do and we have a four month old baby. I will make a commitment to keep fulfilling her needs even if she won't fulfill mine and take it for what it is. I hate to get frustrated and then "strike back" because you are right it literally can take 15 love units and drop it to 0 in 5 seconds flat.
It is just so tough(now I'm just venting) because of who she is. Reject reality. Make decisions and come to conclusions based on irrational thought. Have "conditions" for our marriage that must be met or there will be trouble. I feel like I have to achieve perfection to get anywhere and that scares the daylights out of me. It is a strange place to be. By the way my wife has it out for a lot of people these days so I know it is not just me. I love her though, and want to be fulfilled. I don't like this conflict.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD