I think for now her own personal time is so hard to come by with the new baby that she values that more than anything. I suggest date nights but she turns them down as excuses. We got massage oils the other day and that night we each gave each other a massage, but since then she has turned down that offer each time as well. I wasn't asking to be intimate, just the massage to let her relax. The lack of intimacy and "date nights" has been a steady decline over the past 3-4 years I'd say. We don't even kiss even when she is in the mood. She keeps saying it is because she is not confident in herself, but it is hard for me to truly know that it isn't just another one of her excuses, you know?

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD