All true. I don't think I know what to say or how to say it then. I'm trying to not judge while being radically honest. I guess I need a lot more training on how else to say it. Here is my reply, and yes we are resorting to email tonight because I don't believe face to face conversations right now would make us communicate any better.

Reply:

This does not acknowledge any responsibility for anything at all, in fact it returns the blame on me, the kids, being a woman, Alex, being tired, and us not doing anything together. I'm not judging you I'm just reading your own words below. I admit that you telling me about your friends shouldn't be an issue, that was wrong of me, its just been a bit more frequent of late and I guess I pointed it out in error, so I apologize. Every other point however you accept no responsibility and because of this any hope of progress or change will cease to exist. Progress is simply not possible without acceptance. So either you are ok with how things are, or you are not ok with how things are, will accept that you make me feel the way you do and attempt to change the patterns. I took to heart your emotional needs email and read it frequently. I accept that I do not feed many of these emotional needs and as a learning process I'm trying to address that. It is a long, long process, but I know that you've seen some glimpses and there is more where that came from with some small successes and feedback from you. I'm not perfect honey, but I'm attempting to feed your emotional needs as best I can, but the opposite is not true.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD