Hilltopper, both of your Takers are out and swinging. It's almost like watching a boxing match - feint, swing, retreat to the ropes, charge, swing.

Both of you have agreed that the kids come first. You've got to change that. This business of agreeing that you won't divorce until the kids are grown is completely selfish on both of your parts and shouldn't even considered. Saying divorce is not an option...until the kids are raised? This is faulty thinking. So, you think the kids will be hunky-dory with the two of you divorcing when they're 19 or 20 years old? Where did you get that idea? Your kids want their parents to be in love and happy with each other, not getting a divorce the second they're out of the house.

Have you tried doing the EN's questionnaire with your wife? The two of you are going to have to put your weapons down and meet in the middle to really heal this rift between you. I'm not saying you're in the wrong, or she's in the wrong, none of that. I'm saying it's time to start a real conversation, and I'd start with the EN's questionnaire to determine what both of your most important needs are.