It all starts with one deposit at a time. IF what you wote above is what you told her exactly, then you are on the right path my friend. I see no blame shifting .. and no DJ's in that message. If i was your wife I would see this message as a heart felt effort to show me that we are a team and that the breakdown of the marriage to this point is a JOINT effort and will be a JOINT effort to build it back up. I bet you your wife will not get defensive over this message, as it allows room for both of you to chew on what each of you have to do to accomplish your marital goals one little step at a time. Eventually as she discovers what it is she is mising and you plug the holes in your love bank so it stops drip draining .. the love will stay and continue to grow! I still suggest that before you go to bed at night that you possibly read the book together out loud sitting in bed next to eachother .. cuddling. Do it like this .. Get the kids to bed... get lunches ready .. put the dishes away emtpy the dish washer .. etc ... shower .. let her shower solo .. offer to rub her back and once shes relaxed .. ask her if she would like to read a chapter of the book with you. Tell her you will read it and she can cuddle and listen and provide some feed back or stop and have a discussion if something comes up that needs discussion.

Your doing a great job ... you have made your point clear (radical honesty) without a DJ and now since it did not drain her account becasue of the way you presented it .. shes considering it since she has seen a bit of a change in you.

Keep up the good work! ... over the next month you will notice a signifigant improvement if you guys continue on this path( you giveing her time to read and playing with your kids for her to wind down etc) .. and use the policy of joint agreement over everything! and learn to stop lovebusting (which your getting better at) .. you'll be back in puppy love again (both my wie and are back in puppy love ourselves and sometimes she makes me late for work! haha >.< and all your history will be rewritten back to into the positive light again.

Oh did i mention? ... GREAT JOB! smile