The amazing thing about the blame game is once I stopped participating in it, it has gotten MUCH better. I never really complained much to begin with UNTIL my DH started mentioning things I hadn't done THEN I was ready with my list of his shortcomings.

I decided that if something really bothers me then I owe it to him to talk about it when it bothers me....not save it up and wait till he is picking on me. The other side of that is admitting when I really don't care about something and not using it as ammunition anyway.

Likewise, when he is bothered by something not being done, I don't find excuses, I just validate his feelings and go from there. This is hard because I still feel like he is blaming me but often times he is just expressing his general frustration.