Hilltopper,

CWMI has the right idea about need meeting. Think about parents of childen...we love to meet their needs...affection, support, admiration...the whole gambit. We never expect to get our needs met from them...

Do what feels right but not what makes you resentful. You shouldn't be keeping score.

I used to do that so I know.

An example is, I love to text/e-mail. I used to do it with my friends when I heard/saw something cute or funny. Very rarely with my husband because he didn't ever respond and I just got mad. Now, when I see or hear something and want to tell him about it I do. He responds a lot. If I count them, they are nowhere near equal but that is okay.

It's like I tell my kids...don't say I love you unless you mean it and if you mean it, it won't matter if he/she says it back.

Once she feels this from you, she will most likely fall in love and WANT to meet your needs.