This is all so tough what all of you said. I feel as if my "taker" comments are something I share with you all honestly. I don't disrespect her in person any longer, I express my feelings about that to you. I can't control my feelings, all I can do is choose not to express feelings or make comments that will hurt her. I keep waking up every day waiting for her to say something like, "I'm so sorry I don't deserve you. I'm so sorry for doing this to you all this time." I know that this sounds so self serving and egotistical. I'm gonna keep doing this thing as best I can with all my heart. What scares me is my instincts tell me she is either unwilling or incapable of making this change with me. I no longer mention her mother to her anymore which is of great concern to me. I feel that it is ok to mention to you that the situation she grew up in wasn't only horrific, but continues to this day. This lady is awful, friggin disgusting to my wife, her husband, etc. I don't even think my wife has control over her emotions or actions. Call me crazy, angry, or just frustrated, but I'm fighting a battle that is just ridiculous. I get excited at times and then get a door slammed in my face over and over again and I don't know how long I can keep taking it. Everybody in here keeps saying that if I lead by example then "she'll most likely fall in love with you again", but I'm sorry man I'm just not buying it as of yet. I'm certain it works for many but I have yet to see one ounce of return for my investment. Do I want to fill her love bank yes!!!!!!! More than you know, I don't do it just to fill my own pockets. But how long do you keep giving to someone that only benefits them forever? I need way more insight and advice here, I'm struggling.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD