Hilltopper ... It seems as though your wife is just not allowing you to meet her needs (you do know what they are dont you? did you fill out the emotional needs questionaire?) If you know what they are .. and your doing your best to fill them .. and shes not responding in any sort of positivity I would suspect that their may be another man in the picture somewhere.

Do you go to work full time and is she at home all day? Do you have a household computer that you all share? Does she have facebook?

I would do some snooping to see who shes chatting to when your gone to work. Could be she may have some kind of affair going on. I know my wife kinda did ... but it was only EA. HOwever .. that is still bad becasue then she is getting her need for intimate conversation met by someone else other than you and that can put up an emotional barrier between you and her. Most women need deep conversataion to feel loved. NOt casual talk .. but talk about feelings .. etc.

I didnt even know that EA's (emotional affairs) existed until I came here. I had them myself without realizing it .. not to the point of falling in love with someone ... but sharing details of my marriage with other women .. and my wife did the same with guys she met online. Well .. that opens a HUGE can of worms and it wittles away at your love for eachother. ALL MARITAL ISSUES should be either communicated respectfuly to your wife and hers to you .. and the only other acceptable communication about your marriage issues should be to a friend of the SAME SEX. Our instincts tell us to indulge in this conversation with opposite sex friends becasue its "easier" or becasue your getting a point of view from the other sexes perspective .. but that is DANGEROUS.

Has your wife ever said .. "your more like a brother to me" or .. I LOVE you but i am NOT in love with you" or anything along those lines? If so .. get snooping! Meanwhile ... you continue plan A and be the best Hubby you can be until you find out whats going on and why your on the bottom of the importance list.

Once my wife eliminated the online scene ... and ended all communications with her online buddies she was grouchy for a while .. but soon realized that feelings follow actions and as we read his needs her needs .. she began to realize what it was we were missing. And more specificly what it was she needed from me after she got a better mind set on the whole marriage builders concepts.

To do this .. I would suggest you put a keylogger on your home PC. This will get you passwords and everything for all her internet activity. Your Wife sounds VERY foggy especially since shes not responding very well to your Plan A. Head over to the Operation investigate area of the forum .. and check out some of the tools they post over there to snoop. I use www.desktopshark.com for a keylogger becasue its free and is not detectable by my antivirus.

If you find something questionable.. DO NOT LET HER KNOW! DO NOT CONFRONT! .. Gather your evidence .. and save it all somewhere safe then come back here to form a plan with us and continue your plan A.


p.s. Have you read his needs her needs yet?