Hilltopper .. Are you sure you read the emotional needs on this site? Has your wife read the emotional needs? The ones your describing (romance) (father) (handyman).. those are not terms of MB but I will help identifiy them for you.

Romance - This need of your wife for romance falls under the 2 top emotional needs of women generally. Those being "affection" http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3305_aff.html and "intimate conversation." http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3315_conv.html

To meet these needs you need to have 15 hours a week together aprox to fulfill this. (its 15 on MB but even i have a hard time with 15hours sometimes its 10 .. sometimes its 12 sometimes its 8. Her side of the "romance" is all non sexual .. make sure your affection does not have a sexual undertone in it otherwise its just displaying your need for sexual fulfillment.. there is a fine line there.

Here is the link to the emotional needs questionair! http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4501_enq.html

Print it out .. x2 .. then fill them out .. and exchange them. It makes it pretty simple.

Father - Your wifes need for you to be a father is her need for "family commitment" http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3345_fam.html Herre is a tip for you to teach your daughter to ride a bike .. and i used it on my own kids. Get a 2 wheeler that is too small for her .. remove the pedals and the shaft that goes in between .. and lower the seat so she stands higher than that bike. then get her to practice "coasting" and runing on it while sitting on the seat. My son and daughter both learned this way .. and it only took a few days with lots of encouragement and positive reinforcement from me.

Handyman - Your wifes need for you to be more handy falls in the category of "domestic support" http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3340_dom.html

Read the links and print out the emotional needs questionaire and do them together and then exchange them and discuss.

I think her reluctance to try more is deriving from the focus on love busters. Get her on board with what resounds with her. Maybe print out some of the concepts for her that revolve around what she wants you to do and let her see if your doing them by compaing your "doing" with what Dr. Harley says falls into those categories that interest her. She may be more open to MB approcahing from it from what she will get out of it rather than focusing on the bad side of things. REading His needs her needs will really expand on the "good stuff" more so than the bad stuff like love busters does. I think with the love busters book ... its putting pressure on her to change bad behaviours .. but i think due to its negative undertone she is taking with it she is being reluctant because she cant see the light at the end of hte tunnel. Make it more about her and how your goin to do what Dr. Harleys articles suggest and point out her needs to her through Dr. Harleys terms. Then she will recognize more so what your doing .. and be able to compare your efforts to what the dr. Prescribes.

You could bring up her need for romance .. and show her the articles on conversation .. and affection. And being with those to open the door to being the hubby she wants you to be.

Keep up the good work ... With my wife I had to point out more and more about what was in it for her and how I was to change rather than show her what she needed to change.


p.s. Vets If i am getting this wrong or mixed up .. plz let me know .. my posts get a bit long winded so i lose my train of thought often lol.

edit for spelling and a messed up link

Last edited by MrNiceGuy; 04/08/11 03:45 PM.