You can search for the "When to call it quits" article. I wouldn't threaten divorce unless you really plan on doing something. There's nothing wrong with saying "I refuse to be in a marriage that involves X, Y, and Z" But I don't think you need to get mad and say, "That's it! I can't take it anymore...I'm divorcing."

I think it's perfectly okay to set forth what you will and will not accept in the marriage. You don't have to fight with her. Do drive by honesty. When she snips at you, "I don't appreciate you saying...." "I don't appreciate it when...." Do it right then and then drop it.

I don't think you're giving this enough time. Do Plan A. If nothing changes, go Plan B.

But, remember, you can't make your spouse do anything. If she's picked up these habits and has been doing them for years, it's going to take more than a couple of days for her to change. This is a process. And weeks/months later you're still working on them.

There's nothing wrong with expecting your ENs to be met back and for LBs to quit being thrown your way. You better make sure you're doing the same though.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)