Originally Posted by happyheart

While reading your thread some questions came to mind.

- If you think your wife is a mean, egoistic, disfunctional character, why did you marry her? Did someone tie you to the altar and force you to say yes?

- If that is not the case, could it be possible that she is worn down (having a 4-month old and two other children and a husband who also wants things from her)

- You come across as being right most of the time and when you are not right, you admit it of course (you don't want to be so immature as your wife is)

- have you done anything fun lately? Because bugging her about reading HNYN or if she is irritated, saying I am going upstairs to read love busters.... is sure not going to make her fall in love again with you. It also is not going to make her mood better.

- you seem to be a smart person. come on. Sweep her off her feet a bit. Allthough... I had a depression though, after my 4th child, and the things which would be fun normally were very disappointing. If you are having feelings of despair yourself, could it be that the current stresses of your life are affecting you too? Because if that is the case, you may see thing differently when you are your own self again. Just think about it. If she is the person you willingly married, and you are going through a stressfull time, it is possible that it is affecting you in ways you do not realize. Please do something fun together which the two of you used to love. And no problem talk pleeeeaaaase. Just something fun. And if you do not have fun where you used to be thrilled, than you need to look a little deeper into the depression thing. Babysitters can be life saving!

You can do it. If baby gets 6 months old it will be a little better. If it is 1,5 years old it will get better still. And if it is 3, you will be back to normal again, or better of course. Hang on. You can save the family! Ride the storm out!

Of course nobody forced me to marry her, I just didn't know what I was getting, or she evolved into this person over time. Yes, the new baby has thrown a wrench in the program, but this is something that has been getting worse over time and will continue to get worse. We did something fun with the family yesterday and it got the conversation going a bit. It started rough, usually with me asking a question and her doing a one sentence answer. I hugged her on the way out the door today and although it was heart felt from me, it was a one arm lightly around my neck from her. She used the word "disgusted" referring to how she feels about me the other day. I'm sure you know how much that hurts to be felt about that way from a spouse. She doesn't disgust me at all, she is frustrating, but I do love her. She clearly has fallen out of love with me and it hurts so bad. If she is not in love with me anymore that would tell me or someone from the outside that I have made it so.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD