Just be sure that you schedule your 15 hours with your wife FIRST.

Just an idea here, to disarm her insults/complaints: she says something snarky, and you respond with a smile, an "I love you. I'll work on that," and an affectionate gesture like squeezing her hand or kissing it. Then go work on it! I don't know what she's saying. Of course, if she's just viciously tossing out names, an "Ouch," is quite effective. Just "Ouch" and walk away.

But if it's something like, "Can't you take out the trash???" or "Why do I have to do everything around here???" or even "You don't know anything about Dostoevsky!", a smile and an ILU and a promise to work on it followed by action will be incredibly effective. With an added bonus of confusing the heck out of her if she's accustomed to you being her sparring partner. smile

Definitely don't turn to divorced/divorcing people IRL for advice. My H was in the habit of talking to single people, cheaters, and divorced people for marital advice. BIG mistake. Of course, the folks on here are better educated on MB than your regular run-of-the-mill IRL folk, even if they are divorced or former cheaters, so give them an ear.

A great piece of advice I heard in church was to only seek advice from people who already are where you want to be.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)