Sorry I havent been around in a while .. been spending my much needed UA time with my wife lately in the evenings ... and works been busy, so I havent had a chance to get on here much.

Wow Hilltopper your sure stepping up to the plate! Your getting some great advice from some of the other vet posters. Looks good on you that your taking initiative and focusing on being the hubby your wife wants you to be and not letting your wifes negativity get to you too much. I know sometimes it can be frusterating .. but your doing all the right things. Your wifes love bank is most likely still in the red .. but as you keep filling it up she will eventually begin to respond to you in a much better manner as it approaches the neutral zone .. and then into the GREEN zone!

TY sir! Yes it is frustrating, but I WILL NOT blow up or fight with her despite her best efforts to make that happen. Its almost like if I let it get to me and fight then she is "off the hook" so to speak. I don't want her to be off the hook, I want her to see what I'm trying to be and have no excuse but to return the favor. I still see her reaction to many of the nice things I do such as the note I wrote her with her coffee as being short and not appreciative. I let her know the other day that these things are not with strings attached or alterior motives. Do you think with consistency that she'll start seeing I mean it and perhaps be more grateful in return?

Keep it up!