So I snooped on my wife's cell phone bill to see if there was anything concerning to me in terms of some kind of EA or other. I haven't found anything, but while looking at her statement I noticed something that concerned me big time. Yesterday she spent a total of 2.46 hours on the phone with various friends. The day before was a modest 1.7 hours of talk time. This doesn't include text time which happens all day as well. I've known for years my wife likes to talk and many women I know do in general. Should or could this be a red flag of sorts about her seeking others to fulfill her EN's? Do any of you women in this forum spend 2+ hours a day on the phone if not for work purposes? I need to get good at meeting her EN's, really good. I have no confidence in this area. She sent me her list and I sent her mine. She is not meeting any of mine as of yet and although I'm not ok with that, I just have to take the lead and rise above it. Her list is SO overwhelming to me I just don't know where to start. She mentioned Romance as a part of her Affection EN. I'm very affectionate in general physically, but I guess not any other way and I know this. I'm having a hard time not feeling stupid when it comes to this. What I'd really like to do is tackle romance and affection first and foremost before moving on to the rest, but I will be aware of them the other EN's as not to cause a LB. Help me be romantic! Here is a quote of her EN for Affection so you can read it for yourselves and come up with some suggestions for me:

"Affection: Where is the romance? Hmm I don't think you were even romantic when we dated and it's never really been your strong point. I'm not talking about flowers. I'm talking about follow through with a sweet idea, make a bath for me, a note, set up massages for us. Have the kids make me something and frame it. The most unromantic thing is I just have to have my needs met no matter what today, I don't care what else happens. Every girl likes a little romance or creativeness."

So I've done two baths, and three notes of late. I bought her some lotto tickets a couple times cause she digs that stuff. I ordered some new underwear from Victoria's Secret which she wears. I want to keep being thoughtful, insightful, and unique if at all possible. I definitely don't want to be cheesy! Do I feel stupid about the romance thing because of my own insecurities or lack of confidence? How do I get past that?


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD