Be honest with her. "I feel unimportant because you won't have sex with your husband because you are tired. However you can stay up and check your facebook and then get up early the next day to go running with your friend. And I did not sign up for a sexless marriage."

I'm just now having my morning coffee so I can't word it correctly but without DJing her you need to let her know that it is not okay to not take your needs as valid and try to meet them just because they are not her needs.

A lot of people try and meet the other persons needs that they think they should have. For example, a husband might lavish his wife with gifts. However she wants some communication from him. If he doesnt spend some time verbally connecting with her, he could buy her a boat and it wouldnt fill her #1 EN and hes spinning a lot of wheels. And hes prob. Fulfilling the ENs that he wants met rather than what she wants. Or hes just stabbing at what he thinks she wants (I mean girls like gifts, right???). But then all were doing is throwing rocks at a target with our eyes closed and hoping we hit it.

After awhile of not getting our needs met, we get irritated and resentful. We feel neglected. We then want to stop doing for the other person.

You should ask your wife to post on here.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)