Originally Posted by tgrace1328
he used to go out once or twice a week with his closest friend until he just recently moved.

How long ago did this happen? I'm betting this has been troubling him losing a close friend he felt very connected to. Once he was gone (moved away...not totally gone per se) I bet the "dark hole" he felt in your marriage expanded for him.

Originally Posted by tgrace1328
I love him very much and will make an effort.

Awesome. I think you should start your own thread. My wife and I both posted here and it's very difficult to share a thread. The forums aren't really set up to referee your disputes. We can help YOU and we can help him. It's peer coaching...NOT peer counseling. He will have people helping/coaching him and you will have other "online friends" coaching you. With both of you here a lot of context is added but again...we are not good referees. You have to let his feelings and perceptions be his and yours yours. Very tough to do. But doing MB together made all the difference for Mrs. Wondering and I.

Originally Posted by tgrace1328
I think you guys should be giving suggestions how to fix things not suggesting that affairs are going on!!!!!

Unfortunately, most people that show up here ARE dealing with affairs and infidelity and unless and until such extramarital relationships are over and done with...complete "no contact" there is no "how to fix things". Ruling out and/or ending affairs is STEP NUMBER ONE here at MB. Again...I can't express how happy we all are for YOU and Hilltopper that there is not an affair. I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. Lets move on from the snooping and underwear fiasco and get down to business. Start a new thread and share your thoughts and feelings about your marriage.

Mr. W

p.s. - Happy to see you want to try MB. Have you and Hilltopper printed off and completed the Emotional Needs survey yet?

Last edited by MrWondering; 04/16/11 12:14 PM.

FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.