Thought you would find this interesting, Hilltopper:

"I don't trust my wife completely and she doesn't trust me, and that's why neither of us have ever had an affair. Lack of trust does not make spouses paranoid and miserable, it makes their marriages safe." Dr. Willard Harley

And he talks in the infidelity video (on the home page here and on youtube) about a lady that was upset with him for making her paranoid after reading his book "His Needs Her Needs How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage"... He basically says that you SHOULD be worried about an affair because unless you are protecting against one (boundaries, transparency, having an integrated lifestlye, meeting each other's ENs, etc) you WILL be the victim of an affair.

If your M is not in a good place and you are lovebusting each other, now you can't really blame that on us, can you? You two need to own your actions and lovebusters and get them under control...not blame them on other people.

anyway, hope you two will stick around. I think the MB forums are awesome and could really help you! Good luck!