Hill, I can't find what you're talking about. Regardless, snooping on an emotionally distant spouse is never a BAD idea. You're just supposed to keep quiet about it instead of blowing up and accusing them of things you are merely suspicious about. I don't know how you approached it, but if my H asked me why I'd put on clean underwear, I'd simply tell him.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)