Originally Posted By: kilted_thrower
tgrace, what we have been feeding him is getting you two to try and implement meeting each others ENs and getting rid of the LBs and spending some alone time together.

If you would read through this thread you would see that he is trying to become a better husband but is becoming resentful in teh marriage because he feels neglected, disrespected, and unimportant.

It seems as though you dont feel his needs are important because they are not your needs. Yes, sexual attention and affection are needsand they are important because he cannot go anywhere and get these needs taken care of without cheating. Essentially he is starving and you have the chance to feed him.

Saying that he wont get sex because of this and that is using sex as a tool and a weapon.

How would you feel if he said, you know, because of the way you acted the last two days, Im not watching the kids so you can go on your runs or exercise You would feel hurt and upset.

The goal here is simple. You two meet each others needs, stop irritating each other (love busters), and get in some alone time. Yes I know you have young childrenmost of us do. And the alone time is doable.

And, yes, we are only getting one side of the story. It would be nice if you posted here so we could get the whole story.


Well said Kilted. I can't get my needs filled elsewhere and frankly I don't want to. I do feel neglected and I think not only are my needs no respected by my wife, I think there is a lot of society in general that feels husbands should feel wrong or guilty for wanting sex from their wives, no?

Alone time is tough with three kids but I'm committed to making this happen. My wife and I had a discussion about EN's getting met more quickly. I think there is a disconnect here. I see stopping LB's and meeting each other's EN's as something you do immediately because we both have the ability to. Feelings of deep love will come later of course, but for now we both can make a conscious choice to do what is necessary right? I'd like some input here from anyone about the subject.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD