I want to reread what you wrote. She LET YOU cuddle for a few minutes and now she's off running. This is what I call living off crumbs. This is her putting her selfish wants before the marriage.

I will say that I'm very fitness minded. I applaud those that keep fit and healthy. However, here is key time that you two could have that alone time talking, touching, cuddling, loving each other.

So shes out running while youre sitting wishing shed spend more time with you. More than likely youre going to hate it when she goes on those runs and its going to become a source of conflict. And what happens if you decide you want to do something at 5am for yourself? Then what? Then you two have a big fight about who gets to do what because you both feel entitled. I used to run off and play indoor soccer. However this was taking time away from my wife and from our time to connect together. When she brought up that she wished Id stay home to hang out with her, Id get mad. The problem here is I wasnt looking to accommodate our marriage (POJA)the marriage wasnt a priority. I mean, I was just going to go and play an indoor game for an hourwhats the big deal?! After I/we got on board with both of us looking at what we can do to improve the marriage, one of the things I had to do wasI change my indoor soccer playing time to really late at night on the nights she had been working long shifts and would be passed out and Id be sitting on the couch doing nothing. So I changed my recreational activity time to one that didnt take away from time for us.

Heres what I would do tonight. Both of you tag team and get the kids in bed together (my wife usually bathes them while I clean up the after-supper kitchen mess). Then fill out the lovebusters sheets and discuss them together. Be honest with each other. Do not get mad at what the other person sayshow they feel is how they feel. It is what it is; it isnt right or wrong. The purpose is to stop doing things that irritate each other. But if one of you or both of you get mad about what makes the other person mad, it defeats everything. Then if you have time fill out the ENs stuff and discuss that. And finally schedule your 15-20 hours of alone time together.

The solution is for both of you to jump in this head first. I know youve heard it before but call Steve Harley at least for a couple sessions.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)