Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Originally Posted by tgrace1328
Ok so I will say some of my comments are insulting I have to admit. And sometimes there are just not appropriate times for sex and sometimes the bottom line is I'm tired from being a "boob machine' and waking up all night with the baby. I don't with hold sex from him, but if we fight it is a turn off and sex doesn't happen. I'm not into the make up sex. By the way I've only said 'hop on once and I wasn't in the mood.' And the cuddle comment was last night with a too much wine stomach ache (which he says is just an excuse)We just need to do nice things for each other and the sex will follow and I know I need to make more of an effort.
We have never been jealous of each other and definitely give each other space to go and hang out with friends. I have never questioned my husband on going out for beers and in fact I encourage it and he used to go out once or twice a week with his closest friend until he just recently moved.
For you to suggest I shouldn't be able to go on a run is inconsiderate. I make sure I go early and get things ready for the baby so I don't disturb his day or morning. Running is my own selfish time in the world to just have a clear mind.
I could go on and on for a tit for tat but that wouldn't get me anywhere. There is always another side you are not hearing as to why things are going in the wrong direction. I just didn't decide to be mean to my husband one day and continue. I love him very much and will make an effort.
I think you guys should be giving suggestions how to fix things not suggesting that affairs are going on!!!!!

This board operates on the story of the one present.

If both are present, they are encouraged not to post on each other's threads.

Jealousy is a natural response to a marriage that is in a state of crisis or threat, not a problem.

Transparency, and checking on spouses is defending a marriage, not "being jealous" or "being controlling."

"Giving each other space" creates independence, which is harmful to the marriage.

You are here now, so get this; this program is about creating romantic love and an interdependent relationship.

It is not just for couples who have or are experiencing infidelity, and in those cases, may help avoid it in the future.

You two are at the tip of the slippery slope which leads to marital meltdown, and "marriage counseling" won't do much to fix it. In fact, a lot of these "counselors" empower one spouse or another into the very behavior that will DESTROY a marriage every single time.

You won't find people here encouraging, or preaching tolerance for abusive or independent behavior.

You both have some work to do.

Wow this might be tough to hear for my wife. Independent behavior can definitely harm a marriage, I never thought of it that way. I admit that my wife probably began doing other things in response to me not fulfilling her EN's during the first part of our marriage. Although her instincts tell her that she "needs" to do this stuff, I think the plan here is to minimize it and focus on getting some Undivided Attention with each other asap! In my book this means focus on us first and when appropriate and there is time left then run or whatever, not the other way around.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD