Originally Posted by maritalbliss
I'm definitely messed up from this forum. My marriage is infinitely worse after following the advice of some of you in here.
Hilltopper, I'll bet if you look closely you'll see that the issues in your M are no different than before. You're just starting to confront them with your wife.

I'm not gonna throw away my marriage because someone tells me that get keylogger software and to record my wife's phone calls.
How do you figure this would cost you your marriage? My H can do all of that and more. He could follow me around with a tape recorder and I wouldn't care. He could hire a PI and I would drive slow enough to keep the PI close when he's tailing me. I couldn't care less if my H wanted to confirm that his trust in me is not misplaced. Do you think your wife can say the same things?

The problem is your own experiences taint the advice that you give. I went from trusting my wife 100% to accusing her of cheating within a month of being here? You can be offended if you want, I don't give a crap.
No offense taken, Hilltopper. And yes, my experiences absolutely taint my consciousness now. Thank God! I'll never go back to the blind way things were before.

You sound exhausted and overwhelmed, Hilltopper. I'm sorry to hear that. Take a breather.

I agree with you actually now that I think about it. The problems are coming to a head because I'm forcing the issue. Yes it is uncomfortable for both of us but I don't think anything would get resolved had I not explored this all. As I've said before this doesn't make me less culpable in the marriage for where it is today and in fact doesn't really matter. We are here now and that is all that matters.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD