Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Do you think with consistency that she'll start seeing I mean it and perhaps be more grateful in return?

Absoultely... As her love bank fills and you plug all the holes in it by stopping the LB's Then eventually you will pull yourself out of the negative love bank balance and back into the positive .. and eventually start gaining interest on your investment! But you gotta get "out of debt" so to speak. When she sees your consistancy (like i previously mentioned pages ago) and you dont drain the Love bank with some sort of love buster (whatever she describes them as) then you will be well on your way to having her fall deeply in love with you again.

I myself am really only a few months into what I would call recovery (no real infedelity tho thank god) And we are unwinding the downward spiral we were on and the rollercoaster I was on is finally coming to a stop and we can get back on the merry go round lol. But I took since 2007 (not consistantly tho unfortunatley as I struggled with love busters alot and so did my wife)

Your doing great Hilltopper! Put a smile on your face .. and let it all roll off your back and continue being consistant in EN meeting for your wife even if shes not meeting yours ... she eventually will.

p.s. did you see my post on how to quote? Make sure your reply is after the [/quote ] command

When you say "no real infidelity" are you referring to your own situation or mine? I explored it but I don't think there is any infidelity of any kind, emotional or other. I'm trying not to be so needy and insecure so I'm heading out to watch baseball with a buddy which I stopped doing in an effort to force the issue with her each night! I also called her good friend so that she could go out Thursday night for some fun as well. I think she was into it smile which is awesome! She used to be that person in the relationship which makes is so strange the tables have flipped wouldn't you say! Do you mind, without telling me the details, what things you see in your marriage that I have to look forward to and day dream about? I'm pleased that you are in recovery and great stories I think would do wonders for me.
This is the first post that I can find that mentions the possibility of infidelity in Hilltopper's marriage, and it is Hilltopper who mentions it. In his next post he goes to to say that he spied on her phone.

What did I miss? Hilltopper, why did you blast this board for causing the outburst you directed at your wife?

Yes you are missing something Sugar. I was confused by his comment about infidelity and thought he was referring to my situation when he was really referring to his own, that is all. I'm not blasting the board about the decisions I made all on my own to investigate infidelity at all, that was my doing. What I'm concerned about is a fairly quick jump from an unhappy marriage to a possible affair. You all have more experience than me, I took the advice, and checked it out. I think the jump to infidelity if nothing changes after a few months might be more appropriate is all.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD