Hey, Hill, ML is very right ... if you want a good marriage, if you want your wife to spend time with you, then you need to plan to work VERY hard to make that time enjoyable. You sound pretty sarcastic and frustrated here. I can empathize with frustration, and I enjoy a good bit of sarcasm, too, but sarcasm and frustration are not attractive. I strongly encourage you to work on putting a lid on this stuff and focusing on what you can DO to make yourself enjoyable to spend time with. When you are enjoyable enough to spend time with, you probably won't have to demand that your wife spend time with you, because she will WANT to!

I do encourage you to keep tabs on your wife enough to rule out any sort of an affair. Odds are, she just wants to get away from you because she perceives you as a demanding, sarcastic person who is no fun to be around. But if she's got a close male acquaintance out there he will make it impossible for you to be attractive to her, ever, by comparison.

HOWEVER, do NOT ever go confront your wife again about this without evidence, okay? NOBODY here will advise you to do this. This is just a way to become a jerk. And if you want to save your marriage, you are going to have to learn how to not be a jerk. IF you find evidence of an affair, please come back here and bring us what you have and ask for some help to figure out what to do, okay? Please rely on the good and helpful folks here instead of reacting to your emotions and rushing in without a plan and torpedoing your chances.

And tgrace, I know you may still be reading ... please start your own thread, okay? We know this isn't all on you and that your husband has a lot of work to do. He can be helped with that ... and you can do your part as well, but the first thing is probably going to be to make sure that you are open and transparent with him without fighting with him. Fights are absolutely detrimental to a marriage. (Ask me how I know. frown ) BOTH of you have some work to do to learn to eliminate fights, so I encourage both of you to stop spending time pointing fingers and start learning what you individually can do different to change the tenor in your marriage.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.