Yeah, Hill, that was really unfair for you to withhold your feelings about the run until after she'd done it. I can kinda understand--you don't want to keep her from enjoyment, and maybe you didn't even realize how much it would bother you until she was gone. Here's how you can deal with that:

Recognize that she didn't do it to punish you. She didn't even know you wanted her to stay home.

When you did decide to tell her that it bothered you, BE KIND. "i know you love to run and i love for you to do it. I want you to be happy. I was a little more funked out than I expected when you left this morning. Can we talk about adjusting your running schedule so that I'm happy with it, too? I was thinking if I had another hour of your attention before you left, I'd be happy to deal with the kids when they got up. And if I could get a chat over coffee when you get back, I'd spend the entire time looking forward to it, rather than funked out and grumpy."

Is that doable, Hill, for the future? Regardless of her response? You need to be loving toward her, otherwise all you will get is her defensiveness, and you will never know what her rational response is. Like markos, ask me how I know. smile


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)