No attempting. You just do it. If lecturing her is an LB (and to whom wouldn't it be) then stop.

Remember it's taken you two years to get to this state of conflict. It's going to take awhile to get out of it.

Stop the LBing completely. If your boat has holes, you're still sinking unless you plug them up. The LBs cause holes for her love towards you to sink out.

Go to your wife tonight and ask her nicely if you two can sit down and fill out the LB and EN sheet and talk about it. Tell her you're sorry for pushing things so hard, you just want the marriage to be great but you've been going about it the wrong way. Don't lecture her why she should be or why you two should be doing X and Y. Let her know you want to be a better husband, the husband she deserves but the only way you can do that is for her to tell you and show you what she needs/wants from you/from the marriage.

This is not a race; it's a journey.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)