Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
HIlltopper .. I just wanted to apologize if anything I said contributed to your feelings of craziness. I only offered you my opinion from my perspective on how I used marriage builders and what I did to win my wife back over. I also understand your frustrations towards your reluctant spouse. I gave examples and mentioned that this is not going to be a fast fix .. it took many years to get to here and it may take awhile to get back to the way you want things. I believe it was once said that this is a marathon, not a 50yard dash. I understand you have a 4 month old and a few other children .. and that is VERY taxing on your wife. So I understand that aswell and how that affects your wife .. she probably feels "touched out"

AFter reading your replies after my last post, especially after your frustrated blow up blaming post .. I began to wonder if what I had said had any value or impact at all.. I am kinda new to advice giving and can only provide you with my own point of view from my own experiences.

Vets: Thank you for saving this one ... I didnt even know how to respond at first, so I stayed away to think about it .. but you guys chimed in with all the right stuff ..so i am thankful of your awareness.

Hilltopper ... Its also great to see that your wife descided to post and is willing to start her own thread. Stay on track .. follow the MB plan. These hard times will eventually all be in the rearview mirror if you stay the course and follow the advice.


Thanks for the kind words. Can I ask you all something? Have you seen so many thousands of posts where one spouse swears about not cheating only to come crashing down down the road? About 20% of you won't let this infidelity thing go? It keeps coming back over and over. This is a recurring problem and is not allowing my wife and I to move forward to some degree. The "keep tabs on your wife" thing keeps coming back repeatedly and it bothers both of us tremendously. My wife said nothing is going on, she was horrifically destroyed for having me even consider it and as a result we can't get past it. I have no proof nor do I believe anything of the sort is going on, but many of you keep bringing it up. At this point I have to wonder why, do some of you not believe my wife at all, if so why? No sex? Is it something she said? As we sit here now, my wife has asked me to do whatever I need to do to make myself feel secure that nothing is going on. She appears to have nothing to hide, no fear of anyone "finding out" anything at all. Can we leave it at that? I want to get to feeling hopeful more than one hour at a time ok? I would appreciate if the suggestions focus on this goal from here on out. I love my wife, I don't think she is cheating at all.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD