Originally Posted By: MrNiceGuy
HIll, if your wife has told you to your face that you have a temper .. and you dismiss her complaint by saying .. "well so and so has temper" that is a disrespectful judgement on your part.. She is TELLING you that you do .. and in her eyes .. its causing love bank withdrawls. IF she says you have a temper .. then you do! We all do in fact. Its possible that your wife is more sensitive to your "temper" than you realize because you dismiss her feelings about it.

I did that to my wife too .. she would say the same thing to me. "honey your yelling at me" And i would exclaim "no im not im simply trying to get my point across!"

The point is ... in HER mind .. I AM yelling .. becasue she is not me ... and is on the recieving end. She has better hearing than I do .. so what I precive as yelling .. and what she precieves as yelling are 2 very different situations. So I had to learn to adjust my own tone so I didnt come across as yelling .. even if i was frustrated. Why? Because she was sensitive to my frustrations and regardless if i thought i was yelling or not .. it was withdrawing love units faster than i could replace them because it WAS yelling TO her.

Sorry I'm a very literal person and I tend to debate things in literal terms. I do not have a temper at least in the dictionary sense of the word, but my wife gets offended when I hold things in rather than expressing myself, and then when she asks what it is I tell her not only the most current issue, but the previous 5! That is not fair to drop a bomb like that once a day or so I'm discontinuing that and not sweating "the small stuff".

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD