Originally Posted by CWMI
HHH, in our case, a problem was that I would complain, offer a soluition, and my conflict-avoidant H would agree to it, then PA'ly go against the solution be cause it wasn't his. So I had to back off and let him find his own. I don't much care how something gets solved, so long as it does, so this was quite effective for us.

Ah ha!

I get that.

Did you ever offer a solution before identifying something as a problem?

Drove me nuts when FWW would offer me solutions for things I was doing that she identified as a problem - it was usually because I wasn't doing it the way she would.

Ugh.

Don't miss that.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR