Originally Posted by SusieQ
Hilltopper, STOP making reference to an A. If you are suspicious then quietly snoop. Don't make her feel bad or feel under scrutiny. GOSH! She was trying to meet your needs and you should have rewarded that effort!!!!

Apologize for saying that and reassure her that you will stop bringing up an A.

I totally agree, I don't know why I got so paranoid. I take that back, I know why I got paranoid, but it is no longer relevant to our marriage. There is no affair period, never was. My wife kind of shut me out emotionally, with no affection nor sex. What I have a hard time with in this form is the suggestions you make. "If you are suspicious then quiely snoop?" Why? Geez, I told my wife this morning that there is a part of me that doesn't want to look like a fool so I wanted to be certain nothing is going on. I love my wife very, very much. She made an amazing effort early in the game to have sex with me which was awesome and I threw it back in her face. What a jerk! On another note, my wife keeps bringing up wanting to have "intervention" with either some parents or friends? I told her I don't get this at all. I thought maybe she was just trying to help and she would drop it, but she just sent me an email asking us to go speak with my parents, preferably my Dad? I'm of the opinion that this is a horrible idea, even worse than a marriage counselor. I think she feels wronged for having me be suspicious in the first place and wants to get it out on the table that she has never cheated on me. She also mentioned that a close friend of hers did something similar which is likely where she got the idea. I'd like to respectfully decline this idea, but I need some suggestions on how to approach it.
Its a good thing I got her a card yesterday afternoon and wrote some nice words in so that she can read this morning!

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD