Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
Hill ... lets stop referencing an affair. I believe that your wife is faithful ok? I am pretty sure we have that established now.

In regards to questioning her "orgasm" WHY would you do that? You have been working very hard at achieveing some intimacy and you threw your recent efforts away. You SHOULD have complimented her and or rewarded her .. not berate her! I would have said something along the lines of "WOW, Honey that was great! Your an AMAZING wife! I really enjoyed your affection! Did you enjoy it as much as I did? Was there anything I could have done better for you to make it more enjoyable?"

By complaining about her performance, your only going to make her want to do it even less! I know this becasue I did it too! I understand your concerns about her being not as tight as you might expect, but GEESH man .. she JUST had a baby! Her body will not be totally repaired yet! SLOW DOWN!

Did you offer her Oral sex? Reason I ask is because more often than not .. women do not orgasm by intercourse alone.

I used to act just as you .. and if i felt my wife was not enjoying it .. I would get upset. I felt guilty like i was using her. But after much negotiation (and many arguments about sex and performance) we came to an agreement that if the sex is just for me .. thats fine .. because she gets enjoyment from my pleasure and she told me that she would tell me (radical honesty) if she wants an orgasm too so I do not put any pressure on her to have one. Women dont (often) need it as much as men do so please understand that .. and STOP with the pressure for her orgasm. Let her get comfortable being intimate first ... you need to get into her MIND and bond emotionally. She made a GREAT effort and stepped out of her comfort zone to work on intimacy with you.

I would apologize to her ASAP ... tell her your sorry for complaining about her performance and making her think her efforts were not good enough. Reassure her that shes the only one for you and that you now believe her that your the only one for her. She did AWESOME as far as I am concerned and you need to thank her for that and tell her how much you appreciated it. Do something special for her.


Her performance was great and she DID orgasm. I in a horrifically paranoid state asked her if it was real and offended her deeply. When we do have sex my wife can orgasm pretty easily so I'm not worried. I have expressed that all the other things like oral sex and stuff that we used to do I'm TOTALLY into, but she isn't feeling good about it or her body after three kids I think. She did do awesome and I'm kicking myself for not leaving it at that. I love her so much and want to stop the LB's so that we can string together more days in a row. I feel like if we can go 1 day we can go 2, if we can go 2 we can go a week, if we can go a week, we can go a month or more. A week straight of no LBing and attempts to fill EN's and I'm fairly certain we'll be madly in love.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD