Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by markos
Hill, can you control your paranoia? If your emotions get the best of you and keep you from working this logical plan here, you are not going to make it. Trust me.

Face the logic for a minute:

* Women can enjoy sex without orgasm
* Your wife can tell you if she's not enjoying sex and if she'd like you to do something different. You don't have to obsess over that. Let her worry about it.
* Men can enjoy sex without their wives orgasming
* YOUR WIFE IS WILLING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU

Relax and have a good time. Trust your wife to let you know if there's a problem, and express your willingness to help her if she ever feels like there is one. Relax. Have a good time.

Something is off here with the sex part. The sex was great for both of us and my paranoia had little to do with the act itself. It was me reaching for things that just aren't there not expressing that any part about the sex at all performance or other existed.


There is also the fact that you have this unresolved issue, and post-coital you can be emotionally raw. SF requires BOTH SPOUSES to be emotionally vulnerable with each other. If our fight-or-flight response is up, the last thing our body wants to do is have sex (which seems counter, since we can get an "adrenaline rush" from sex).

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR