Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
We are definitely more inclined to speak politely to each other and respectfully. We don't fight about anything other than our relationship. It is almost always me bringing something up, her firing back. I always pursue her to talk, I always want to fix things after a fight right away.

Hill, let's be honest, here:

After a fight, you'd like your wife to get over it. Who wouldn't?

If she's still feeling raw, and you've gotten over it, you'll be really tempted to try to set her straight. As little control as you have over your emotions, this desire is going to seep out of every crack, and she'll see it. It will not turn her on. It will disgust her. And rightly so, because who wants to live with a critic and a dictator?

Your desire to fix things sounds noble. Your desire to straighten her out doesn't sound so noble, does it?

Hey, hill,

Do NOT go reading on your wife's thread, but I wanted to give you a safe little excerpt of what she just posted:

Quote
I just want him to move past all this and start working on our marriage.

She's referring to the affair accusations.

Can you do that? Can you shut up about it and just move on and do nice things to meet her emotional needs?

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.