Originally Posted by MarriedForever
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Night was good, wife offered oral sex, which was great, that led to real sex which was great. Immediately afterwards she saw the "stewing" look on my face and asked me to tell her what bothered me. I told her that a certain something fit too easily into something else for not having had sex for so long and that I questioned whether her orgasm was real. I insulted her and she'll barely speak to me or come back to this forum. She kept telling me, "you have problems". She is referring to me reading into every single thing which is probably true. Am I aloud to be suspicious of my wife? She seems to think not and told me so. Either you're all gonna blast me for being a complete a-hole last night and to stop reading into things or you'll use the power of suggestion and I'll be even more suspicious of my wife. I have no proof, just little things I've seen that I probably just read into. Some of you are so direct with my wife about the issue of infidelity that I can't help but assume you might be right. I don't think you're right but until I get past it I don't know we are gonna get there. How can we get past it?

Why not call into the radio show or send Dr. H an email and he will answer it on his show (I believe you send it to his wife at jharley@marriageubuilders.com)?

Tell him exactly what you are going through, why you are suspicious and what you and your W have/have not done in order to calm your fears.

I'm inclined to believe that you will believe a professional on this and not stop obsessing until he gives you direction.

Thanks for the suggestion I'll think about that. The A thing is over. I see no reason for it and I've moved past it. My wife has been open and honest with me about everything. I think other Vets on this site have seen that she has nothing to hide either. I struggled for awhile because I was encouraged to "snoop" on many occasions. I wasn't getting any affection or SF. Then my wife was asked once or twice is she was being truthful about having an affair. I described my wife's reaction to the first time I confronted her, and especially the second as "angry denial". This description caused more Vets to think something was up. It was just ridiculous from the beginning and still is. All you need to know is that it is over, I trust my wife is being truthful, I've told her this. It doesn't mean she won't be mad or hurt for whatever time frame that takes for her, but it does mean that there is no doubt whatsoever that my wife wants to meet my EN's and me hers. This is a process and admittedly as a very impatient man I will hour by hour and day by day do what I need to do in my yard as that is all I can control. From what I've seen I think she intends on doing the same.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD