Originally Posted by CWMI
Ask her for a time to discuss it.

And be prepared (for any issue, in general) not to resolve all conflicts immediately with one discussion. It is very important to plan for "incubation time." The first solutions you come up with will not be your best solutions. Carry a notepad (or mobile device) with you to write down ideas on all the time, and write down ideas for a week once you've both shared your perspectives. Then discuss the issue again in a week and look for ideas that both of you think would be great.

Hill, have you read this article yet:

POJA is a noun. FGSN is the verb that gets you there. smile

In other q's, why are you emailing complaints to each other? Do the worksheets! Gah, I didn't say, email a barrage of complaints, did I?

CWMI is right, Dr. Harley's worksheets are designed to make it as safe as possible for you to share complaints and information with each other. Your accounts in each other's love banks are low right now. Your main goal is to build them back up; staying within the structure of those forms is a good way to try to pass information without starting a fight.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.