Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by Prisca
Go back and read Markos' post. It is very difficult to fill her Love Bank right now because of the holes you have punched into it. You have been guilty of some severe LB. She has withdrawn to protect herself. It's going to take awhile for her to come out of that withdrawal and accept that you're not going to attack her this time.

Stop expecting reactions. You are making small deposits. Eventually she will respond, if you have completely eliminated LB.


3 days doesn't cut it. It's going to take much longer than that before she can trust you again.

Blind faith is tough when your experiences and history tell you otherwise.

Whoa, nobody's pointing you toward blind faith! Have you reread the Basic Concepts recently? Specifically, the Love Bank? The Love Bank model is not blind faith, it's based on tons of evidence acquired through Dr. Harley's clinical psychology practice. It has worked for literally thousands of couples, on this forum, through books, through Dr. Harley's counseling and practices that followed the same principles.

Every thing you do has an effect on your wife. That is the Love Bank model. No blind faith here; solid decades of Dr. Harley's experience.

I'm not feeling confident that my efforts will lead to a change in my wife wanting to be more affectionate with me.

Not after three days, no! smile

It is very difficult for me knowing that I can't do anything but work on myself and let the chips fall as they may.

I know what you mean. A lot of men find this hard to deal with. We want to fix things, we want to make things get better, we want to force a solution.

And if we are not careful, that desire will lead us to do things that are seriously damaging to our relationships with our wives.

You are going to have to relinquish control and come to grips with the fact that it is not all up to you. And you are going to have to let your logic and reason dictate a rational plan that you will stick to (making love bank deposits), rather than letting your emotions drive your actions.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.