Originally Posted by Prisca

Markos probably understands where you are coming from more than anyone else. He is a very emotional, affectionate man, and needs affection very much. Affection comes easy for him.

No one expects you to not feel hurt when your wife is not affectionate. It does hurt. I don't believe your affection is false or an act to get something.

BUT, when markos engaged in horrible LB toward me (especially the AOs and DJs), my desire to be affectionate with him disappeared. Why would I be affectionate to a man who hurt me? Your wife is withdrawn and non-affectionate because you have HURT her.

Keep doing what you're doing. It is getting through, although it doesn't look like it at this point.

Keep listening to Markos. He's been right where you are. Very recently, in fact.

I am listenting to Markos, he is my right hand advisor! smile I know you'll say it is because we are just different people, but why then do I not really withdraw when my wife AO's, SD's, and DJ's me? I mean I do for like an hour, but then I really don't enjoy the crunchy environment, and typically pursue her. She can withdraw for days if need be and it pains me.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD