Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Average night, not a good morning. I have all the same old feelings of me not being important to my wife after last night. Affection shut off like a faucet, she said she was just tired. I sent her a note in the afternoon about "if I put all the kids down tonight and pick up some bath salts on the way home would you be open to taking a bath with me?" She sent a note back, "honestly I'm too tired."

That doesn't seem like a very effective way to squeeze in UA time. If she is tired at that time, that would be the WORST time to schedule UA time. I would plan nights OUT, away from the children, at a time when she is not exhausted. Is she exhausted at 5 or 6pm during the week? Is she exhausted at 1:00 on Saturday? Find good times to schedule UA time away from the kids when you are not tired.

It probably isn't effective and this is a huge challenge. My wife tries to please everyone so the social calendar is quite full. She has done a better job of politely saying no to some events of late and I love that, but during the week it is just sit down and hold on tight you know? It felt good for both of us to stay up late which is why we did it, in fact I mentioned it was a lot like we were dating. I can see its taken its toll however on her being very, very tired.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD