I don't think either one of you should be saying if you do A, B, C I'll meet your needs only then. The assumption is that both of you will meet the ENs and no LBsw. And you will get your UA time in. These are not supposed to be hoops we jump through. We do things because we want our spouse to feel loved and not what we can get out of it.

Now if you two could stop being angry at each other and follow the worksheets.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)