Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I can appreciate you addressing my impatience and I respect that, will heed your advice and work on it starting now. What I don't respect is me coming here and explaining a massive Lovebuster that my wife does and you hardly acknowledge it. CWMI seems to think her compulsive blaming is really just a her form of explaining things. The rest of you didn't bring it up at all as if it doesn't even matter. I've said this before MB works when two people are on board, accept responsibility for not meeting EN's and LB's, then change their behavior accordingly. When my wife told me my faces bothered her I didn't tell her that was her fault for me having made the face. It was my fault, I acknowledged it, it bothered her so I stopped doing it. So when I told her that her blaming was a huge LB, then she blames me for having caused her to lay blame in the first place, not only is it illogical but it made me feel this is an impossible position for me to be in. I've said it before, how do I compete with that?

So sure I'm whiny and impatient and I want it all now, all of that is very valid, but geez can you blame me? Affection got shut off like a faucet immediately following three fantastic nights including one with SF. With the experiences I've had in this marriage how can I not be concerned? There were no LB's all day, I was patient, I asked her about the bath, got her sleepy tea instead, it was all there. I can appreciate being tired and not wanting to take a bath or have SF, etc. This was very different. This was, I'm(wife) too tired, I'm(wife) gonna sit over here by myself today. I'm(wife) also gonna be very sarcastic which I normally don't do. So in my shoes it was, well where did the affection go and who is this person sitting across the room from me? This is the same person that that I felt neglected and unimportant to which brought me to MB in the first place. Does that make sense? So no, I'm not a mind-reader I didn't attribute it to her just being tired and it concerned me very much, that is all there is to it.

Don't bother telling me to shut up and get to work and I should thank my wife for putting up with me and my desire for a healthy marriage. I'm working my a** off at this and have been the entire time. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go find something nice to do again for my wife to meet her EN's against my instincts that are telling me to go into Taker mode.

Get over yourself, dude.

Really. I'm not coming from some high-faluting place when I post to you. Not like I have some life of perfection. I had my wife so disinterested in me, that she took up sleeping with another man.

Don't pull this crap like you are some kind of victim, and use it to justify your screw ups, buddy. Ain't gonna work.

Man up, take your lumps, and quit whining about how hard it is.

WE KNOW how hard it is, some of us are still living it.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR